Too Smart

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, is having trouble with one of her students. After class, she pulls him aside. "Harry, what's your problem?" she asks.

"I'm too smart for the first grade," Harry answers. "My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!"

Ms. Brooks has had enough of Harry's attitude. She takes the boy to the principal's office. While Harry waits in the outer office, the teacher explains the situation to the principal.

After a moment's consideration, the principal tells Ms. Brooks: "I'll give the boy a test. If Harry answers all my questions correctly, he can move up to the third grade. If not, we'll send him back to the first grade - and he'd better behave."

Ms. Brooks agrees.

Ms. Brooks gets Harry and the principal explains the conditions to him. The boy agrees to take the test.

"What is three times three?" the principal asks.

"Nine," Harry answers.

"What is six times six?"

"Thirty-six," Harry answers.

After the principal asks Harry every question he thinks a third grader should know, the principal looks at Ms. Brooks. "I think Harry can go to the third grade," he says.

"Wait. Let me ask him some questions first," Ms. Brooks says.

The principal and Harry both agree.

"What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?" Ms. Brooks asks.

After a moment, Harry answers: "Legs."

"What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" Ms. Brooks asks.

The principal gives Ms. Brooks a sharp look, and thinks, "Why would she ask such a question."

Harry replies: "Pockets."

"What does a dog do that a man steps into?" Ms. Brooks asks.

"Pants," Harry answers.

"What starts with a 'C,' ends with a 'T,' is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?" Mrs. Brooks asks.

Harry says, "Coconut."

At this point the principal sits forward, and his mouth hangs open.

"What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?" Ms. Brooks says.

The principal's eyes nearly bug out of his head. But before he can say anything, Harry replies: "Bubble gum."

"What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?" Ms. Brooks says.

Harry: "Shake hands."

Now the principal is trembling.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"

"Fire truck" Harry answers.

The principal can't take it anymore. He holds up his hand. "Put Harry in the fifth-grade," he says weakly. "I got the last seven questions wrong."