Thursday, October 16, 2008

Ways to Say You're Stupid

  • A few clowns short of a circus.
  • A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
  • An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
  • A few beers short of a six-pack.
  • Dumber than a box of hair.
  • A few peas short of a casserole.
  • Doesn't have all her cornflakes in one box.
  • The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
  • One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
  • One taco short of a combination plate.
  • A few feathers short of a whole duck.
  • All foam, no beer.
  • The cheese slid off her cracker.
  • Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
  • Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
  • He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
  • An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
  • As smart as bait.
  • Chimney's clogged.
  • Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
  • Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair.
  • Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
  • Forgot to pay her brain bill.
  • Her sewing machine's out of thread.
  • His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
  • His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
  • If she had another brain, it would be lonely.
  • Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
  • No grain in the silo.
  • Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
  • Receiver is off the hook.
  • Several nuts short of a full pouch.
  • Skylight leaks a little.
  • Slinky's kinked.
  • Surfing in Nebraska.
  • Too much yardage between the goal posts.
  • Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
  • The lights are on, but nobody's home.
  • 24 cents short of a quarter.

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